You have found yourself here, because anxiety, stress or a sense of over-whelm are currently impacting your life and you want to do something about it.
You don’t have to be formerly diagnosed to recognise you might be feeling these types of emotional responses.
Maybe you have already accessed other forms of therapeutic or personal development approaches to try and help the situation. In the past, or more recently. Whether some of those approaches worked, and don’t seem to be any more. Or you found they just weren’t quite helpful enough for you and want to explore ways that you can further help yourself, feel and be different.
This might also be the first time you are exploring help or support for what you are experiencing and you are trying to figure out if a coaching approach will be a good fit.
I work with people who have come through either of these routes, and those I work with value coaching because it combines a space to talk openly about yourself, and in addition to talking we focus on strategies or learning that can help you gain insight, awareness and most importantly the confidence and ability to help create change. We combine this with actions and goal setting, so you can experience the change in reality and reflect on how things are different. Feeling assured that the changes you are making work in your everyday situations, and not just in conversation or practice in the session.
Coaching is therapeutic but its not therapy. I am always open on our discovery call with you and will help signpost you, if it sounds like you are looking for a different approach to what I offer.
Typically people I work with experiencing anxiety, stress or overwhelm will be running a really busy life. You might be most impacted by a work situation, culture or conflict. Or might also be feeling pressure or tensions around personal circumstances too.
Clients I work with typically express one of three experiences relating to anxiety, stress or over-whelm.
I’ve detailed these below, but its highly probable you might see yourself in aspect of each example.
' The Worrier'
It's not the way I like to describe them, but some of my clients tell me they’ve always been ‘a worrier’, and find that over-thinking feels like its always been there. That its easy for a situation to quickly feel stressful, leave you feeling on edge or out of control.
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If you label yourself this way too, you might have found yourself developing ‘survival’ strategies to help you cope. From over preparing, to seek perfectionism. Needing lots of details, or wanting to keep to a plan and sometimes finding things difficult when they change.
Or seeking reassurance from people.
You play out a lot of 'what if' thinking to try and deal with situations, but it rarely makes things feel better. And after the build up you often feel knackered by the spiralling of the event, or the self scrutiny that follows.
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One client shared how she hate’s surprises because they caused her so much uneasiness, but felt guilty because she knew her family and partner intention was to do nice things for her, whilst underneath the surface she was rumbling with anxiety, sleepless nights and a constantly full head, taking her away from the joy of each experience.
How can coaching help you:
Through coaching together, I’ll help you understand what beliefs play a part in keeping feelings spiralling. We’ll explore techniques to help you deal with the emotions and feelings inside, and focus on how you’d like to respond differently, nurturing the skills you already have to do that or helping you develop capabilities.
We'll look at the behaviours you can change in order for situations to feel calmer or easier. Nature really helps with issues of anxiety and stress, because it offers an open, naturally calming space for the body to regulate and reset (The effects of something called Attention Regulation Theory - Kaplan). Whilst our coaching together will focus on defining goals and situations you can experience change and growth in. Through an exploration of your values, we'll often gain insight into the how and why of your responses, whilst learning ways to feel happier, confident and clearer on situations, so they feel less 'eeek' and more 'oooh' (Curiosity is a mega-power in coaching, and I'll share with you how to use that for your benefit - and zen!)
We’ll also ensure that the stories you're telling yourself & the roles and responsibilities your saying yes to, align to the feelings you want, and support you with ways to responding and handle those situations that natural can cause distress or trigger you.
Unexpected Uncertainty
Unlike the clients above, many people I work with find themselves in a time in an experience or adversity facing feelings of fear, anxiousness, stress and overwhelm. Sometimes feeling such an impact it leads you to burnout. Suddenly feeling this way might have caught you off guard, or be totally out of the blue. A new experience in which these feelings and sensations take over your body and your not quite sure what you can do to make them stop.
Tasks and activities that felt easy or possible for you before (socialising, presenting at work, going to the shops) now bring feelings of distress, inner turmoil or other people have noticed these changes in you.
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Along with not understanding yourself right now, you might feel misunderstood by others too. Causing uneasiness itself.
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Perhaps you have tried a few things, that seem to calm or distract the situation. Or tried to listen to advise from someone you know. But you’re finding at times, you feel out of control or like the volumes ‘shouting louder’ on the symptoms you experience.
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Whether you feel like you know where these responses have come from, or if that’s part of the worry because they feel unexplained. You know for sure you'd like to change it as soon as you can. Because its impacting the way you are, and leading you to get stuck, doubt yourself or avoid situations all together because you don’t know when the next panic attack, snappy response or unnerving feelings will arise.
How coaching can help you:
Coaching approaches these challenges by helping you resource yourself with different response. Whilst we may need some time together to understand where things shifted for you, we’ll focus more on the here and now and how to change it. Exploring ways to support you to handle and regulate your emotions, ensure you are in alignment with your values and have space to be yourself confidently, and establish responses to ‘re-programme' or 'reset' your current mind and body reactions. You’ll have a chance to get clear on where and how you want things to change and we will set goals round that for you and experience in which you can built back trust in yourself.
Coaching can also help you prevent situations arising in the future, supporting you with strategies for resilience, that can help to minimise stress, anxiety and over-whelm. Whether that's in life, work or both.
These responses aren't all bad, and through psychoeducation, you'll learn more about our bodies responses and create healthy boundaries for yourself, which mean in the long run you can achieve more.
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The People Pleaser & The Good Girl/Boy archetypes
Clients who these archetype resonate with, will often share with me how they see themself as a 'people pleaser' or 'too kind'. You might be like them and find yourself saying yes to too much, or avoiding the no's. You thrive of a sense of doing good and helping others, often now at the detriment to yourself and your energy.
The problem with this now, is its getting too much for you, and your time for yourself, gets overlooked or compromised.
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Whether you’ve realised or not, you get a lot of validation from other peoples recognition, which is all well and good. Until someone forgets to thank you, or those who source your worth are no where to be seen.
You’ve been running this ‘good girl/good boy’ approach under the surface since you were young. A desire to be at your best, to achieve and even for perfection.
Sometimes its your greatest strength, but you recognise this need to please and achieve might be the source of these unwanted emotional responses.
Your anxiety and stress might be coming from trying too hard, or doing too much.
Perhaps you find yourself cycling in procrastination and analysis paralysis putting things off. Only to leave you feeling time is never your friend. The pressure to try and do it all, and that frustrated feeling you have with yourself wondering WHY weren’t you just easier or kinder on yourself in the first place.
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Your cycles of people pleasing and striving to be at your best seem to be causing all this inner turmoil, and might be disrupting relationships too, when you spiral. You have no idea how you give it up or what the consequences would be for you if you did. And that causes stress and anxiety on its own.
How coaching can help:
Through psychoeducation you’ll have the change to understand how they behaviours and beliefs around validation and worth are leading to the feelings your experience. You’ll get help understanding what change could look like, real and relevant change for you - challenging the need to be at your best, even in the coaching approach. Coaching will support you to embrace 'good enough' and value your uniqueness, as an asset to the world. If you need help redefining your goals, from this easier, freer perspective I'll help you with that. Our actions will always aim to reduce fear, pressure or worry and help you nurture the confidence to deal with challenging situations, that trigger your current response. I’ll help you to identify the strengths and skills, that could be put to practice in this change, or we’ll figure out together where you further development will support that change. You’ll gain practical strategies to handle emotions in those moments, and support to reframe your outlook on success, relationship dynamics, and how to make saying no or creating boundaries something that can come with ease, and not the guilt or fear you currently feel.
Comparison will be less of your concern and you'll have opportunities to resource yourself in claiming achievement and feeling good, other people's opinions can become a bonus, not a necessity.
How we work together
When you feel this way, even booking in our conversation might feel over-whelming, and you might feel pressured to ensure you get it right. Booking a short discovery call together (On Zoom or by telephone) will help you take an important step and ensure we are a great fit. I hope you'll feel excited to get started together. I know that's what I feel when I have the opportunity to help people like you.
That conversation will be a space to share what’s motivated you to get in touch. Shared in confidence together. Cover the options for coaching online, in person in the woods, or walk and talk sessions. As well as prices for packages and pay as you go. If it all feels like an opportunity you’d like to get started with, you’ll receive the coaching agreement, client registration and booking links to make payment and secure your session. We get started from there.
Everyone is different, but typically people working on these issues and goals with me, will value between 1-4 sessions.