Finding a simple solution

Over the years as a coach, working in change I have had my own areas of personal development. Exploring strategies that work for me and my well-being as a solopreneur, leader and human being.

We live in challenging and unexpected times. Often calling on resilience resources and strategies, to help guide ourselves through the foggy or complex moments of life.

With so many actively stimulating and potentially stressful factors to our modern day life.

I seek to have (or discover) a variety of strategies for both proactive (and when needed in unexpected moments) responsive; approaches to help realign and create a sense of confidence and agency in life or work.

I believe, having worked with many diverse people over the years, that is actually what we mean when we strive for well-being. Few of us are unrealistic to the facts of life, that turmoil and change may present itself. This alone doesn't result in us feeling life is 'not good' or 'out of balance'. What truly aligns contentedness is our confidence [and capability] to have enough ways of dealing with the ups and downs, to find ourselves back to something of value again.

Working with clients over the years I have seen how many people get tied in knots with complex theories, comparisons and 'plans' to exact a life of supposed balance and zen.

With so many 'ideal life gurus' sparkled at us through culture, media and fiction. With our minds wired to only see proportions of 'others' - 'having it easy'. Forming taunting comparisons - for ourselves- of how others have their shiz together (deleting all the other stuff they probably experience in their own trials and tribulations) - we often seek to create a static, ideal in which to strive for 'wellness'.

Yet so often this comes with floundering, failure or disruption. Because the 'ideal' is not 'ideal' when the mind and body are in a state of stress or duress. Nor is it static.

When 'the plan' is based on specific 'conditions' and those conditions inevitably might shift or change completely day on day! (e.g other peoples needs, energy, weather, resources, beliefs you name it!)

Its often tricky to keep to healthy habits or routine, when life offers something distracting, disrupting or distressing.

Yet its often actually the simplest of things that can help us get 'back to ourselves' in those discombobulating moments.

I will admit - as the human I am - that I still have times when I am faced with this big (sometimes scary) emotions. Yep, us coaches have those sh*tty days too!

Overwhelm might creep in from time to time.

A pang of concern or worry.

Fretful frustration pulses my veins.

Apprehension or fear when things feel outside of my own control.

Yet I know that its prioritising simple things in these moments.

Informed by psycho-education and neuroscience.

That help me to rationalise my thoughts, feelings and behaviours and identify what my mind or body needs to create the shifts I desire.

In a way I depersonalise the response I am experiencing. Pause the 'JK' me and consider what mind and body feedback I am experiencing for myself right there and then. And what's the need and action to follow, to best serve the situation.

Waking up with an anxious or apprehensive thought; doses you quickly with Cortisol, the stress hormone.

This only increases when you reach for your phone, read the news, open your work emails at ridiculous o'clock, jump straight for the coffee or start rushing around hastily.

This stressful morning routine, might just hold you in its grasp for the day.

Because you are over-looking simple small solutions - based on the wisdom of your mind and body experiencing stress (or the like).

These habits above only aid distraction or avoidance of the feeling.

When we acknowledge it.

'Oh, OK feels a little anxious/stressful/tense here'

Then - with a few small solutions - perhaps we can create new habits for ourselves.

• You have to want to invest in this change of course.

• You'll need to have a purpose for responding to your inner self - one that feels worthy and good. (I found mine when I did 'the work' pledged to love myself whole-heartedly and design a life that ensures I am committed to myself and my practice as a coach/facilitator - perfectly imperfect of course, yet always being curious about what I can enhance, even if that turns out to be more energy and acceptance of who I am)

• These shifts in routine may also require curiosity & openness.

• If things don't quite work. Tweak playfully. Avoiding any self-berating stories of failure.

Personal Development, well-being, life balance - what ever you want to call it. Is like playdough.

Habits mailable, adaptable. Flexible not flimsy and never so rigid that they simply don't work when things change around you.

You'll find - with curiousness - you have the non negotiables and then its all about gathering enough variety, observing their impact; that you can guide yourself to help make a difference for your day.

I love to surprise myself, just when I feel like my 'kit bag' has its essentials. A new opportunity offers more resources. I committed to two new 'curious' explorations to support my mornings, based on some self-guided learning. These two new approaches have out-weighed on impact, showing that adapting and resourcing our needs is an evolution, not always a destination!

So that whether I meet the day with vivacious vibrancy, sleepy sluggishness or a little stressy-mind-muddle or something else; I prioritise calm and reset first.

• The first is I don't use my phone first thing in the morning. I leave it upstairs and go downstairs. STAY AWAY!

• I make sure I do a round of nice deep breaths and stretches - this often instantly resets and livens my body.

• I connect with the garden and the bird song. Sometimes simply through having the door open and letting the noises and freshness surround me.

• I read a book - this has been the single most impactful part of the morning habits. Its something I haven't tried before and I can feel any stress or tension melt away. It is energising and enjoying for me - what a great way to resource the day (I think joyfully to myself).

I know that I can enhance my routine (on particularly agitated days - as rare as they are) by delaying my coffee intake for a good 90 minutes (usually post-dog walk).

Yet on the calm and joyous days I know my resilience tolerance can take the peak.

This is woven with lots of other little intricacies. Some consistent. Some fluid.

Yet these are the small simple solutions that help significantly benefit my day.

What is most poignant is that I choose to do them.

There is no pressure, expectation or oppression to achieve them.

They are simple enough that they become easy choices.

If I miss one out, yes the day might look different - but I know for next time that their importance is just that, so I choose them again next time.

So whilst your simple shifts might look different to mine.

Or perhaps you don't know where to start and what you could possibly change and discovering that is your first small solution.

Begin with the simplest - path of least resistance thing - you can create for YOURSELF.

Intentionally notice its benefit, ease and simplicity. Quell any shame you might experience for over-looking such an simply impactful part of life.

And remember to notice its impact - so your brain remembers what a good idea it is, to continue.

#Habits #PersonalDevelopment #MorningStress #Routine #LifeCoaching #Neuroscience

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