If you’ve been in a group session with me, you’ll be familiar that in the corner of the room sits a 'beautifully' drawn picture of an elephant.
The drawing in itself often opens up intrigue, whilst I have two art GCSE’s - one taken and passed a year earlier than required - and an Art and Textiles A level.
It's rarely ever been evident in my elephant doodling.
The elephant in the room is a space where people can pop thoughts, apprehensions, barriers and stuckness to what we are exploring or bigger picture ‘not for today’ stuff, as part of a team session.
It could be a belief, or a topic, a question or a practical resource.
In naming the elephant alone, we already begin to create and expand understanding together.
To place something in our collective space, that may have been unheard, misunderstood or overlooked.
It might be a unique and individual view of one member or open up a wider horizon to exploring a deeper layer of teamwork or culture together.
On occasion, we press pause - to name and explore the elephant.
Because the elephant is so large, in our collective space. That wherever we try to move our focus, we find it there, to bump into.
In this pausing and focusing on this tusky issue; together we often address huge cavities that existed, unspoken in a team's culture or dynamic.
Take a moment to imagine an actual elephant in the room.
Your room, a team office, or taking up the whole organisation.
Elephants are pretty independent and unlike my eloquently executed drawing, they don’t tend to stay politely in a corner somewhere.
If I encourage you just to ignore it. PLEASE DO NOT THINK ABOUT THE ELEPHANT! It seems to grow in stature and importance. It gathers our attention more wholly.
Just like that weird dreamy scene in dumbo, they have the capacity to multiply. Trunk to tail, soon the elephants are on parade. Each issue unifies another or causes tension in the herd.
And yet, so often, no one says anything at all.
I recently delivered some training. I won’t say what or where, but let's just note that my agenda was different to what 'needed' to be explored.
Having introduced the concepts of elephants in our previous session together.
And on the invitation of reforming our group culture together. Someone spoke up.
‘There is a humungous elephant and I’d like to name it’
The group agreed the elephant, was well and truly stepping on our toes.
And an elephant on your toes does not help you focus!
So, we used it as a live example and curated it into the training.
As a facilitator, You could call me an elephant tamer' in this capacity.
However, my approach is not to subdue it , beat it down to submission, or put it in a cage.
As humans, as teams, and even at an organisational level; being able to live and work alongside 'the elephants' and offer them a 'habitat' is crucial to evolving a rich and diverse culture.
Like most of my approaches, this is to free it, understand its wildness and allow ourselves to adapt and learn from this often complex perspective or issue.
Taking time with the elephants can hugely enrich your teams ecosystem - done with kind consideration and intention.
Elephants were not meant for corners after all.
So back to the training session:
With compassionate, curious and a little courageous facilitation.
We put the elephant in the 'middle of the room', and explored it together.
For some people, they were seemingly only able to see the elephant's tail or tusk.
Others were standing right in front of it. Trying to go one way, whilst it stood firm and resisted their approach.
Others were trying to steer the elephant whilst some in the group felt like they were indeed under the foot of the elephant. Feeling small, unheard and extremely uncomfortable to its vastness.
In such close proximity, the elephant hadn’t realised they were there at all.
Talking about it seemed to move it to one side, and help them with a clear pathway through.
(Needless to say, despite their position, no one actually suggested they get rid of the elephant completely; clear there was acceptance of the situation to a degree)
We needed curiosity as a group, to see it in its entirety, both from where we were standing.
And in standing back together. Seeing the full - rather massive- elephant.
The further we stepped back. The easier it was to see the bigger picture of how to navigate the elephant, each from a unique standing point, belief system or role.
Gaining learning for now, and in the future too.
An invitation to make way for elephants
I’m often curious about what would happen if every team was willing, open and supported to explore elephants in this way.
Instead of going through automatic autocratic processes and routines of meeting or training culture.
Ignoring the bigger issues at hand.
To be disruptors of their own blind spots, barriers and blockages.
To free the elephants and make space for healthier cultures to grow.
So next time you look behind you, or feel something unspoken looming. Consider that there is a massive four-legged, flappy-eared, long-snouted mammoth of an unspoken-ness.
Be curious, observing first, before taking action.
How could we explore this?
Do you have a a safe and inviting culture, for us to inclusively unpick these problems
Or is the culture alone, the elephant staring you in the face?
Oh and by the way. In case you were wondering. This blog has nothing to do with elephants, at all.
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We find ourselves in times when teams are called to do deeper work for long-term resilience.
I work with teams and organisations curious to call out 'elephants' in your dynamics and culture.
Needing the support and guidance of a neutral facilitator to help you find equitable routes to understanding, resolve and adaptation. Recognising that just because you might be a leader or knowledgeable teammate, doesn't mean you're the best place to wild 'the elephants' at first.
But you can learn how together!
What does this look like?
We meet in the woods, for an open and expansive location. Supporting team members to feel less constricted, reaping the natural benefits and neuroscience of reducing stress and activating innovative mental mindsets that help make complex conversations calmer and more creative.
We collectively agree on how best to explore emerging elephants, in a way that is collaborative and not transactional. Doing with, not to!
Inviting the alchemy of this collective complexity together.
This typically comes in the form of a team away day or a series of facilitated group sessions together.
To talk 'elephants' and explore your team's communication and personal development needs and culture. You can book a FREE team consult here, to see if my approach in the woods is best fit for your vision, values and needs.
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